Saturday, January 16, 2021

Treasured Spiritual Practice :: Creating an Altar

 
To the right of my marine-blue, 45+ year-old rocker recliner sits this little pine end table.  We refer to it as my heart table because there is a heart cutout on each of the 4 sides below the tabletop.  Up until last week, it held my wooden, spiral Advent wreath that Mary on her donkey and I walked for the 11th time last month. When it was time to put them up, I took great pleasure in creating this little vignette that will be watching over me in the next little while.

Smiling fondly as there is so much significance tucked in my little vignette, each piece speaks to me on a heart and soul level every time I look over at it, whether I realize it or not.  Sharing these thoughts here as intentionally gathering it all together was/is very much a treasured, spiritual practice.

I was smitten with the granddaughter snuggled up next to her grandmother the first time I laid eyes on the figurine and the two of them are never far from my line of sight.  It felt time to bring them back to the forefront for a little while, serving as a quiet, constant reminder that my beloved ancestors are never far away.

Once, when my “Guardian of the Home” angel was sitting in front of our lamp and facing out, a friend commented that it looked like she was blessing Bert and Ernie, my crutches.  I loved my angel before my friend’s comment and now I treasure her even more.  Her presence reminds me that angels are always gathered around protecting hubby and me, and our home.

The sweet little framed block found me recently and I love it’s gentle reminder “Be who you are & be that well”.  Gingham fondly reminds me of both my mother and my beloved grandmother so they are both smiling out at me from my little vignette as well.  (One year my grandmother made 16 smocked, gingham dresses, one for each of her granddaughters.)

My sweet snow angel, all dressed in white was a Christmas surprise from a dear friend.  And, of course, Gabriella, my rubber ducky angel had to make a guest appearance.  Grinning because she doesn’t stay parked there as the two of us are often elsewhere, always on the lookout for the places where I’m already held.

My “Grace will lead you home” block has been standing in its place since arriving 2-1/2 years ago.  I fondly nicknamed my Higher Power “Mama Grace” twelve years ago so she’s right there smiling out at me, too.

Visiting Mary after daily mass one day in December 2019, a mere 2-1/2 weeks before losing my father, I “just happened” to look down and saw this stray wood chip.  I was amazed by how much it looked like a hand so I brought it home with me.  A friend later commented that it's shaped like how someone holds their hand over our head when blessing us so it, too, has been a longtime anchor in my little table altar space since.

The angel dressed in pale orange was a Christmas gift from hubby, selected from my wish list.  (Grinning as there is almost always an angel on my wish list!)  This newest lovey is holding an hourglass and her skirt gently whispers to me “Be Patient with your Journey", dear heart.

Sweetheart angel next to her was a delightful surprise from hubby 6 Valentine’s ago.  He happened to see her in the card shop and wondered if I might like her.  Smiling as he had NO idea how much I would come to treasure her.  I love how she role models what it looks like to stand in my truth and offer what I have.  She’s not over-reaching nor does she cower.  She just quietly, steadily, simply stands in her truth and in her life, trusting it is Enough.

And, of course, she smiles fondly, the lace placemat with a piece of denim fabric underneath captures and mirrors my farmer’s daughter, country gal’s heart.

Blessed be.

❤️



Monday, September 16, 2019

A Story of Remembrance: Honoring My Motherline

Amarillo and Nazareth, Texas
November 21, 2018


The morning before Thanksgiving was sunny and chilly and, as is so typical of the Texas panhandle, windy. Wanting to get flowers but not wanting to get caught up in all of the holiday grocery shoppers, Tadd and I made one stop at a nearby supermarket. Hoping for a variety of colors and flowers, I was disappointed to find that all that was available were small, same-color bunches of 7 roses each. Longing for things to be just right it took me some time to decide. Sensing how deeply important this pilgrimage was for me, hubby stood patiently by as I weighed all of my options.

Settling on three different colors, we headed to the cash register. My plan was to leave the pink roses on Grandma's grave. From there I wasn't sure yet if I'd leave the red ones with Moma (<-- I spell her name the way she always did) and the white ones with Grammy T (<-- as I've taken to fondly call her) or vice versa. All I knew was that I liked the idea of the "ombre" color effect through the generations. And I really liked the idea that while each was a different color, they were all in the same family. Just like the three lovelies we were fixing to visit.

Driving the short trip over to Memory Gardens Cemetery, I intended on starting with Moma, the youngest, and work my way up through the generations. Turns out we located Grandma's grave first, and as I sat with her, a lovely idea began to blossom. What if I left 2 roses of each color on each woman's grave? I adored this idea! And then the delightful discovery dawned that this would leave a rose of each color for me, the next generation. It felt very right somehow and inspired.

Isn't it remarkable how it really is true that necessity is the mother of invention? When we leave room for the Holy Spirit as we feel our way through, amazing (Grace!) in the form of things even better than we had considered on our own can (and often do) come forth.

Another thing just "arose" as I sat with Grandma. I remembered when Tadd's dad or another minister would visit a church and how they oftentimes began their sermon with "I bring you greetings from the congregations of Loganville and Snellville (where they'd just come from)." I've always loved that sense of continuity and connection. I'm grinning... I guess just like St. Paul would do in his epistles to his various flocks/churches, yes?

And so, as I sat with Grandma, tears rose (and are again right now) as I told her "I bring you warm greetings and great love from your daughter, Judy, and your mama, Theresa." Even though I hadn't visited the other two yet, I knew that in kairos time, this was/is possible. As I sat with her, I also said a warm hello to Grandpa.



After 20 minutes or so I went to find Moma and it warmed my heart so much to realize that I knew exactly where she was. After taking a photo of Bill's headstone and sending it to Jen, I sat down with my precious mother.  Giving her her flowers and extending fond greetings on behalf of her mother and grandmother, I settled in for a nice, long visit with her. As I have so many times since, I found myself so incredibly thankful on that Thanksgiving Eve for the peace we found together before she passed beyond the veil. I am deeply grateful to add that the peace between us continues to deepen. Blessed be.

And I'm not sure who picked her headstone out but I *adore* that it says "And the angels shall lead her home." Yes.


As an aside, I still treasure the image my Moma's sister and dear friend had of Moma happily joining the wise men and dancing behind them when she passed on Epiphany. That inspired visual has brought so much comfort to me over the years. ️

After a quick lunch in Canyon, the 45-ish minute drive down to Nazareth was a pleasant one. Marveling at the changes in the landscape as we crossed over the caprock, we were also struck by all of the wind turbines.

Pulling up to the church, it brought a very big smile to see a lovely statue of Mary waiting for us so we stopped to say hello. With it being the day before Thanksgiving and not sure when the church would close, we went inside the sanctuary first. It was with great delight to discover that the prayer candle stand was at the back of the sanctuary to our immediate left so we started there. After lighting a few candles I picked up a Month of Remembrance offering envelope and slipped a little money inside. In the designated space on the outside, I wrote the names of Grammy, her girls (Loretta, Hilda, and Verna), and Moma. In a moment of kairos time this afternoon, I am adding Aunt Mary's name, too.

I love, Love, LOVE that the parish is named "Holy Family" and that our Heidergerken family helped found it. The church was empty and I thoroughly enjoyed exploring for a while, wondering if I might catch a glimpse of a memorial in honor of our Heidgerkens (I didn't). Content and ready to sit for a bit, I settled into a back pew. After whispering a few prayers I picked up a hymnal and opened it to a "random" page. Ah, yes, I smiled, the "Prayer of St. Francis'" felt exactly right. Softly singing "Make Me A Channel of Your Peace" in the church of my ancestors, tears welled (as they are again right now) as I wondered who might be gathered around and joining me. Smiling through tears I remembered Grandpa's great gift of music, too.


After a few more moments to just be, we went in search of Grammy T. The cemetery is about a half of a block's walk from the church. Just as the secretary said when I phoned a few weeks earlier, we spotted the white gazebo surrounded by graves. Stepping inside the small wooden structure, we searched the plot directory indicating where folks are buried. It took us a little bit of time to get our bearings on which section was which but once we did, we found her.

With times being so incredibly hard back in 1924, her being 38 at the time of her death, and the family having moved on, as I sat with her I wondered how long it had been since one of her own had visited her. Smiling softly as there is no blame or shame here... I didn't even realize she was buried just an hour's drive from where I was born and raised until several months before. All that to say, it was my honor and privilege to spend some time visiting with her, bringing roses and warm greetings from her girls, and so much love.


I have felt a special connection with her ever since I learned her name was Theresa as that is the name I chose for my confirmation name. With her being so sick at such a (relatively) young age, I wonder if Grammy T, knowing what it's like to be so ill, has been looking out for and watching over me for a very long time. So, she smiles fondly, while it might have felt to me like we just met, perhaps, just as a dear grandmother would do, she smiles just as fondly back while tenderly cupping my face, knowing that we've been connected for much longer than that.

*big, contented sigh*

An interesting side note? Great-Grandpa is buried several rows and several places away and we did say a quick hello to him... by then our late-November day was turning cold, windy, and dark (and this trip for me was really about the womenfolk). At first, it felt a little sad to me... that they weren't buried together. Then I remembered a good friend saying to me that she always thinks of gravesides as the very last place that the whole family was gathered in love around their dearly beloved. (Don't you love that?!) I knew then that they could reach out to one another whenever they wanted. 'sides, maybe Grammy T has come to enjoy her "neighbor," too.


Heading back up to Amarillo that late afternoon, my heart was full and I was deeply moved. 

And just as I'd hoped, my small, 3 stemmed keepsake bouquet was a lovely reminder of that very special day of remembering and honoring my cherished motherline.


Blessed be.

.     .    *    .     .    *    .     .    *  .    .

So that's my story, she smiles softly. During daily mass on the 95th anniversary of Grammy T's passing last Tuesday, I gave thanks from the bottom of my heart (again) for the inspired gift of my pilgrimage to honor all three of my (our) dearly beloveds.

Sending warm thoughts to you, too, dear reader, thankful for your witness.

Blessed be indeed.
.   .   .

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Daily Guidance - February 8

I drew the first 3 Soul Call cards (on the right) and they just weren't resonating with
with me so I drew the fourth.  Now it was starting to make sense, especially when I 
starting playing with them and read them in reverse order.  

Surrender the Wrestling and Walls both in a troubled relationship and with life in 
general, dear heart.

It was also lovely to see how they were now dovetailing with the two oracle cards
I drew today.

There is a Map leading to another way... more choices than you first realized.  You
can continue to choose to bless the space between you and another and, as best you
can in each moment, quietly, calmly let the struggle go. Follow the path that leads
to where you are fed... and loved. 

Our Lady of Creative Choice will help me to find a new choice, one that leads to
enthusiasm and Joy?

Yes.

Blessed be.

.         *         .



Mornin', Mary!


.           *          .


St. Joseph, the Carpenter

Our nephew joined the army
and his first day of bootcamp was Monday.

As I sat in daily mass this morning, 
a most wonderful
(and deeply comforting)
thought came.

St. Joseph was a carpenter,
pretty close to a present day
"Horizontal Construction Engineer,"
yes?

I sure think so.

Grace.

Trustin' that St. Joseph 
is watching over our boy
as we continue to hold him
in our thoughts and prayers.


St. Michael, the Archangel,
protect our troops.

Amen.

.           *          .



Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Today's Guidance - February 7

When Navigating by the Star,
I can trust that the 
Tender Mother,
Our Lady of New Vision,
Our Lady of Growth Assured
will be present
in the Vessel of my heart.

.             *             .


Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Today's Guidance - February 6

When I answer the call,
I can trust that 
I will be supported
and comforted
with what I need.

When I intentionally 
spend time in my Egg,
my life will Flow
and that is the Jewel.

.          *          .